Just To Talk
by KagsChann
Summary: TatsuhaxShuichi HiroshixShuichi.... Shuichi doesn’t like the fact that Yuki is engaged to Ayaka... but what would happen if things went a little different than planned?


**Just to Talk**

**Summary: **Shuichi doesn't like the fact that Yuki is engaged to Ayaka... but what would happen if things went a little different than planned?

**Rating: **T-OT

**Disclaimer: **Gravitation and anything else I don't own…

_I feel like I've been holding my breath for nothing… I thought you were this possessiveness, personified kind of guy… But you're just a stupid nice guy._

_Honestly, I know how it is… No matter how much I love Yuki, there's just no way I can compete with a fiancée… To Yuki, I'm just one of many others. Yuki and I are guys… so we'll never be together._

_Did you fall in love with bro because of his looks and his gender?_

_Wha-?_

_Or was it that the person that you happened to fall for turned out to be… bro?_

_Huh…_

_Heh… You and Ayaka are the same…_

-o-o-o-iT'sGrAvItAtIoN-o-o-o-

By the time Tatsuha and Shuichi stopped somewhere, they were in Kyoto, Tatsuha's hometown. They had taken the bus just to find a place to eat, but things went the other way around and Tatsuha ended up taking Shuichi home with him.

Tatsuha's place was empty, his parents gone perhaps for the weekend, but Shuichi still felt like he was being watched. Tatsuha had turned the light on in the hallway, slipping his jacket off his arms and then merely tossing it to the floor. Shuichi kept his jacket on, pulling it close together as if it were a sense of security.

"Since you can't stay at Eiri's… you can stay here with me." The male said with a smile, leading into the kitchen where he pulled the refrigerator open, "Want something to eat… drink? My dad has some beer in here… and then there's some soda."

Shuichi shrugged, trying to keep his eyes away from Tatsuha. Every time he looked at the younger boy, it reminded him of Yuki, despite the skin tone and black hair. Tatsuha looked just like his brother.

"Beer?" Tatsuha said in a questioning tone, grabbing a can of beer and then throwing it in Shuichi's direction. Shuichi almost didn't catch it, the tossing catching him off guard. Tatsuha laughed a little, before opening himself a can of beer too.

Shuichi stared at the can in his left hand, the smell of the beer lingering to his nose and making him nauseous, his nose cringed a little, and the feeling of home sickness made him near cry.

He reluctantly brought it to his lips and took the smallest of sips. It tasted so much like sweet relief when he was heartbroken.

"I thought Eiri would have at least told you he was in an arranged engagement."

"He never tells me anything. To him, I'm just a 'damn brat'… He hates the sight of me. I can tell."

Tatsuha walked back over to Shuichi, cocking his head to the side. A smile was on his slim lips, "I honestly think you and Ayaka both deserve better than him."

Shuichi cut his eyes.

"Eiri just hasn't been the same person… He has been hurt really badly in the past. Seeing you and Eiri together makes my sister really nervous. She cares so much about Eiri and it sometimes makes me jealous. I don't understand why he gets so much attention."

At that moment, Tatsuha looked like he would cry. But Shuichi knew he would hold it in…

Tatsuha smiled a big smile, and then waved his hand at Shuichi to motion him into the living room. Shuichi followed, taking a gulp from his beer before he sat down on the couch with his lover's brother.

"Are you really jealous of Eiri? Just because Mrs. Mika cares about his well-being? I mean, it's not like your sister has no love for you…"

"Sometimes I think that way…" Tatsuha looked at the floor, his bangs covering his dark eyes completely. Shuichi felt his stomach turn, a fear that he said the wrong thing to Tatsuha.

"How about we watch some Nittle Grasper?" The tone in Tatsuha's voice changed dramatically as he stood from the couch. "Be right back." He winked, rushing up to his room, leaving Shuichi alone.

Shuichi watched until Tatsuha disappeared up the stairs… the vocalist sighed in slight exasperation, cradling the cold can in his hands. He read the label carefully, wondering what Yuki was doing… and if he was doing anything with Ayaka.

Shuichi felt his heart pound hard, making him lose a little of his breath at the thought of Yuki and Ayaka. His Yuki with another woman, who was his fiancée, made Shuichi feel empty. A hole in his chest gave him the feeling of rejection and if Yuki accepted Ayaka, he would never be able to go back to Tokyo… His heart wouldn't let him. 'You could have pushed her away… like you do me.'

"I'm back!" Tatsuha smiled, waving the VHS tape in front of Shuichi, who jumped, having not heard Tatsuha come back down the stairs. The male practically bounced over to the TV, and found the remote that turned it on. The excitement on his face could only be caused by the person that eventually appeared on the screen, Ryuichi Sakuma… Tatsuha's sole obsession.

"I love this one… Especially when he sings Sleepless Beauty."

_From far away, let your eyes shine; those who have awakened are still waiting_

_Seduce the ramparts of the night in the cast-off pile of skins left by the things that now live elsewhere._

Tatsuha began to sing along with the lyrics at the exact same time Ryuichi did, his voice a low murmur but smooth at the same time. Shuichi listened to Tatsuha in a sort of trance, amazed at the way he was so dedicated to someone he himself was a little smitten over. Shuichi idolized Ryuichi just as much as the other male did, and it was one thing they had in common.

Tatsuha continued to sing, not noticing that Shuichi was watching him from behind, his eyes closed and his head titled a little backwards.

Shuichi swallowed hard his saliva, blushing. Why was he feeling so weird?

_(Without an exit) if you intend to survive the impact_

_(To the point where you fall apart) enrapture the deceits._

_You who have been reborn, color your eyes without smiling alone_

_Even if the world you've longed for has suddenly burned to ash, in some miracle we could still brush into each other…_

"Ryuichi is so amazing… and so inspiring." Tatsuha's voice trailed, as he turned to look directly at Shuichi, "So are you, Shuichi…" He came a little closer, removing himself from the floor in order to approach the Bad Luck vocalist slowly.

Shuichi blinked, drawing his brows together in confusion… He wondered if Tatsuha was trying to pull what he had earlier in Yuki's apartment… But for some reason, Shuichi couldn't bring himself to say anything to the younger boy; he didn't make a move to evade contact.

Shuichi sat there frozen as Tatsuha sat next to him, taking his beer away and setting it down on the table next to the other can. Tatsuha then turned to look into Shuichi's violet eyes, a longing stare that made Shuichi's heart pound like a raging drum. He felt the way Tatsuha stroked his cheek, the soft skin from his fingertips sending chills down his spine to his toes. It was almost as if Yuki were touching him like that, and Shuichi clenched his teeth together.

Tatsuha bit his bottom lip, nibbling it slightly as he leaned closer and closer to Shuichi's face. The man smelled absolutely amazing, and felt so soft underneath his fingers. Tatsuha looked at Shuichi for the first time without seeing Ryuichi, like he had the day before. There was something about Shuichi that made Tatsuha feel so together, and Tatsuha wasn't sure what it was. He had only met the vocalist a short day ago… and it hadn't been long enough for anything to result from it… right?

"Tat… Tatsuha… What are you-" Shuichi blushed.

Tatsuha swallowed a lump in his throat then, and closed the gap between his and Shuichi's lips. Shuichi's eyes went wide, but his arms remained at his side for the moment. Tatsuha kissed him gently; much different than Yuki… who was always rough and persistent with Shuichi. Tatsuha's lips were soft and exploring, leaving no part of Shuichi's lips un-kissed.

He felt the way the Uesugi boy ran his slim fingers through his hair, twisting each lock adoringly around them.

Eventually, the kiss became a little more passionate, open-mouthed kisses upon Shuichi's lips, but extremely careful not to go any deeper just yet. Shuichi was slightly enjoying the kiss, his insides twisting with anxiousness to when Tatsuha would deepen the kiss a little more. The pink-haired male even coaxed Tatsuha with his own lips, arms gaining the strength to wrap around Tatsuha's middle torso.

In a matter of seconds, Tatsuha's tongue slid into Shuichi's mouth, exploring the cavity with skill and talent.

Shuichi melted, groaning into the pleasurable kiss before being pushed backwards onto the couch…

-o-o-o-iT'sGrAvItAtIoN-o-o-o-

Six hours and the tape had ejected itself, having been on long enough for the final song to finish. Shuichi looked over at the television that now showed the blue screen, and saw himself in it. A faded picture of his and Tatsuha's bodies, covered in a blanket that somehow managed to appear during the last few hours.

Tatsuha had been asleep for about an hour, and Shuichi woke up at least a few minutes before the tape popped out. He couldn't sleep anymore… not when his lover's little brother was lying in his bare arms, snoring and cuddling like a little child.

Shuichi had never expected himself to go so far with Tatsuha, but he did it anyways, half of his mind telling him to push the boy away, and the other half telling him not to stop. And stop he did not. The feeling of a nauseating regret filled the pit of Shuichi's stomach; now he could never face Yuki without the guilt of sleeping with Tatsuha.

"_Shuichi… I can take care of you…"_

Shuichi flinched, eyes looking directly at the sleeping Tatsuha, who mumbled beneath his breath inaudible words. The way Shuichi felt right now was as if someone close to him died, or was in the hospital.

'I'm so stupid… but he was so…. What would Yuki say if he ever found out? Maybe I should just…' Shuichi was near tears as Tatsuha stirred and opened his eyes. He looked at Shuichi with blank eyes, not sure what to say to the other boy… He didn't think he could say anything now to make it better. Tatsuha knew full well that Shuichi was trying to put himself in a state of denial. Shuichi was wishing that the last few hours hadn't happened, but it was only too late now.

There was just no going back on what they had done, and since Shuichi felt guilty, Tatsuha felt disheartened. If he would have seen that Shuichi didn't want to be with him before it all happened… Tatsuha would have let him go… But now he felt himself growing attached, he was jealous that Eiri got to keep Shuichi when Tatsuha wanted to keep him all for himself.

He knew he would treat him better than his brother did. There would never be a single tear in Shuichi's eye again. That was how much Tatsuha wanted Shuichi to belong to him at this moment, the moment where Tatsuha fell for Shuichi.

"Shuichi… I will take care of you…" he whispered, making a move to kiss Shuichi again.

Shuichi had no choice but to accept the kiss, and then closed his eyes as the tears threatened to overflow. He wanted to see Yuki right now.

"I promise…" Shuichi received multiple kisses that time, and eventually he began to kiss back again, feeling the way Tatsuha rolled himself on top of his body, like he had an hour before… Shuichi swallowed hard, letting out a painful sigh. He didn't want it to happen again, he didn't want to be made love to by anyone other than his Yuki.

Tatsuha smiled at Shuichi, his lips attaching to Shuichi's collarbone, and sliding down the middle of his chest. Shuichi felt himself whimper inside each time Tatsuha's hot breath passed over his skin… Why was he letting Tatsuha do this to him…? Shuichi was still with Yuki, and had already done the unthinkable once…

Shuichi wouldn't let that happen again.

"No!" Shuichi yelled, making Tatsuha snap up and gawk. Shuichi was panting nervously, trying his hardest to scramble off the couch and onto the floor, where he landed with a loud thump. Tatsuha stood up, and went to catch Shuichi by the waist, but missed and grabbed his wrist.

Shuichi cried as he was pulled back into a hug, worried that Tatsuha was going to hurt him, like Yuki always did. But Tatsuha merely hugged him tight, stroking his back.

"L-let me g..go!" came Shuichi's broken voice, "I… I gotta… I have to… Yuki…!"

"Shuichi… you can't go back there tonight."

"B-but I have to!" He cried, beating Tatsuha's chest and feeling his body slide down close to the floor, "I have to t-tell Yuki…"

Tatsuha hunched on his heels, "You can't tell Yuki, Shuichi… Don't go back to him, please… I know I can take better care of you here in Kyoto. Please."

Shuichi shook his head violently, wobbling to get up off his knees, "I love Yuki!" He shouted, his hands tightening into fists and straightening at his sides. Tatsuha looked up at him, brows knit. Shuichi was crying like he always did when he had his heart broken… He loved Yuki with all of his heart, more than he did when he was on stage with Hiro and Suguru. No matter how Yuki treated Shuichi, Shuichi would love him just the same…

Yuki was all that Shuichi felt he needed… and what he had just done would cause Shuichi to lose Yuki… But it was Shuichi's fault for giving into Tatsuha. Shuichi knew he could have pushed Tatsuha away, but at the time he hadn't… there had been little to no resistance to the boy as he let all of his emotions out into Shuichi's body…

…

..

.

..

…

"Hiro… can you come get me?"

/Shuichi?/

Shuichi sniffled into the phone as he stood outside near the bus stop. He had escaped from Tatsuha, who reluctantly but surely let him go, and was all alone on the side of the road, "I'm in Kyoto…"

/What are you doing all the way over there? Mr. Sakano has been totally berserk all day because we haven't been able to find you./

"Please come get me… I'm at the bus stop…"

-o-o-o-iT'sGrAvItAtIoN-o-o-o-

With Hiro near him, it was like Shuichi felt secure. Hiro was his best friend since they were little… Shuichi told Hiro everything, not leaving out a single detail each time. That was how much he trusted Hiro, who was the first person to find out about him and Yuki.

Hiro brought in a cup of hot tea to Shuichi, having the boy covered in a blanket due to the rain that had started falling as soon as Hiro picked him up. Shuichi was a complete mess, and Hiro was going to find out what was wrong with him.

"Did you have a fight with Mr. Yuki?" Hiro questioned, throwing his hair over his shoulder and lighting a cigarette.

Shuichi shook his head slowly, reluctant to answer, but still not wanting to keep it from his best friend. He lay there looking at the white walls, "I was with Tatsuha…"

"Mr. Yuki's brother?"

"We walked together after we took Ms. Ayaka up to see Yuki, and he took me over to his house because I didn't want to go back to Yuki until Ms. Ayaka was gone." Shuichi teared up once again, the sound of his voice covered in sobs. Hiro felt the anger build up inside of him, jumping to the conclusion that it was Yuki's fault once again that Shuichi was crying.

"Then Tatsuha went to get a Nittle Grasper concert on video and we watched a little of that. I had no idea what he was doing until he came to me and kissed me. I kissed him back and we…"

Shuichi was crying now, Hiro wide-eyed and shocked at the news. For once it hadn't been Yuki's fault, but Hiro knew Shuichi would be crying because he betrayed Yuki. In the back of Hiro's mind, Hiro felt like Yuki deserved it, having treated Shuichi like a stray dog. But Yuki was one of the things that made his best friend happier than music.

"You mean… you…"

"I slept with him, Hiro… I-I didn't know what I w-was doing…"

Hiro opened his mouth, but no words came out.

Shuichi covered his face, "What am I gonna tell Yuki? He'll hate me even more!"

Hiro wasn't really sure what to tell Shuichi, other than to tell him that it was going to be okay, when he wasn't certain that was the truth. It was already a shock to him that Shuichi even considered going home with Tatsuha… but now that he told him that… Hiro was at a total loss for words.

"Hiro, I don't know what to do… I don't want to lose Yuki."

Hiro sort of shrugged, "Why tell Mr. Yuki?"

"I… I'll see what I did every time I look at Yuki if I keep this from him…"

"Don't you suppose that would be better than losing him?"

"I'm a terrible liar, Hiro, you know that! Oh, you're not helping!" Shuichi buried his face into the pillow that Hiro had given him to sleep with. Hiro sighed a little helplessly, looking down at the floor, "Do you want me to take you to tell Mr. Yuki?"

Shuichi looked back at Hiro with focused eyes, mouth closed but his expression telling Hiro everything. Shuichi did want to see Yuki, but at the same time, the shame he felt didn't want him to be exposed to the novelist… not so soon after sleeping with Tatsuha.

But in his mind he knew it was something he would have to do sooner or later, Shuichi wouldn't be able to keep such regret in forever…

"Let's go…"

Owari


End file.
